10 Reasons Not to Read My Book

Great post, Rowena! It definitely inspired me. So here goes:

Ten Reasons Not to Read My Vampire Novel DARK CHANGELING:

1. If you don't approve of "good" vampires, you won't like the hero, psychiatrist Roger Darvell.

2. The vampires don't conform to the traditional undead template, because they're products of natural evolution.

3. Not only is Roger unafraid of crosses, he's a Catholic who attends church, er, religiously.

4. He can't turn into a bat or a wolf.

5. He moves around freely during the day (just like Carmilla and Dracula in the classic nineteenth-century stories).

6. The book contains some steamy love scenes.

7. But there's very little conventional sex, because male vampires have certain limitations in that area.

8. There's a brief passage making erotic use of menstrual blood.

9. A sympathetic character succumbs to a gory death.

10. Roger's partner and lover, Dr. Britt Loren, has bumper stickers on her car that read "Blood Donors Make Better Lovers" and "Don't Blame Me, I Voted Democratic."

Margaret L. Carter (www.margaretlcarter.com)

PRISM Award winners

Visit our Cafepress Store and buy cool FF&P stuff!

Futuristic, Fantasy and Paranormal Chapter of Romance Writers of America
HomeOur AuthorsNewsMembers OnlyContestsJoinLinks Contact UsRWA National

Congratulations to the 2008 PRISM Winners.

Light Paranormal
1. Dead Girls are Easy by Terri Garey
2. More Than Fiends by Maureen Child
3. Highland Guardian by Melissa Mayhue

Time Travel
1. Wired by Liz Maverick
2. Thirty Nights with a Highland Husband by Melissa Mayhue
3. Forgiveness by JL Wilson.

Erotica
1. Mona Lisa Blossoming by Sunny
2. Pleasures of the Night by Sylvia Day
3. Double Dating with the Dead by Karen Kelly

Futuristic
1. My Favorite Earthling by Susan Grant
2. How to Lose an Extraterrestrial in 10 days by Susan Grant
3. Insufficient Mating Material by Rowena Cherry

Novella
1. Over the Moon by Sunny
2. Street Corners and Halos by Catherine Spangler
3. Wild Hearts in Atlantis by Alyssa Day

Dark Paranormal
1. Immortals: The Awakening by Joy Nash
2. Betrayed: A House of Night Novel by PC Cast
3. Touched by Darkness by catherine Spangler

Fantasy
1. The Eternal Rose by Gail Dayton
2. Lucinda, Darkly by Sunny
3. Voice of Crow by Jeri Smith-Ready

Best of the Best
Wired by Liz Maverick

Best First Book
1. Grave Illusions by Lina Gardiner
2. She Wolf by Teresa D'Amario
3. Thirty Nights with a Highland Husband by Melissa Mayhue

Challenge... ten reasons not to buy your book

Ten reasons NOT to read Knight's Fork

(Ten reasons not to—may be a new, contrarian trend among authors who blog.)

10. It's long. It has 340 pages, and most new Chapters do not begin on a fresh page.

9. It has a Prologue and an Epilogue. That's two beginnings, and two endings!

8. It's going to take about eight hours to read

7b. Disrespectful words such as tallywacker and joystick are used with reference to male body parts
7. The hero is a virgin and proud of it

6. The heroine is locked in a chastity belt, and she doesn't have a key

5. The family tree is so complicated they needed to spread it over two pages.

4. If you read in bed, your significant other might be disturbed by your giggles

3. The F- word is used, but only by villains, and only in conversation

2. If you read it in public, someone may ask why the naked man on the cover is lying in a puddle

1. If you don't read every paragraph, you may ask yourself why the naked man is lying in a puddle


What are your ten reasons for your book?